On the Reason of Not Getting Married and Do


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Don’t get married because social structure pressures you to have one or you’ll be judged on being a spinster. Be brave to not give a fuck on people’s judgments, because no society will ever sponsor your wedding dream anyway.

Don’t get married because your mom thinks this is the right time. Nope. No such a thing as the right time, every time can be the right time when you decide it is.

Don’t get married because your friends and everyone else are getting married. You open the chance of making new friends and there are people who stay single forever and ever, amen. You are never alone.

Don’t get married because of the possibilities of having a fruitful and faithful marriage. Well, cheat, divorce and death will also be there at the same time.

Don’t get married because someone tells you that marriage will guarantee happiness. Like, is there such a thing? Though “you’re the one who’s responsible for your happiness” sounds cliché as hell, it is true.

Don’t get married because marriage is just another step in your life. No, the choices are many.

Don’t get married because of the idea that marriage equals to happily ever after. Nothing lasts forever.

Don’t get married due to the delusion and illusion that everything will get better with someone beside you, because life can also get worse with someone beside you.

Don’t get married because of all the romanticizing of love pop culture creates.

Heck, don’t even get married because there’s someone kneeling in front of you with a ring.

Go get married because you’re being honest to yourself that you need to get married. Because you want to spend the rest of your life with this person, but at the same time you also know that he/she’s not the only one who builds you happiness. Go pursue someone who’s not only the right person for you, but also for your long time plans and goals in life.

Get married due to the fact that it is a long time process of bonding, and no matter what will happen in the future both of you will be brave enough to solve it together. Not just sign up for the honeymoon and wedding champagne.

Get married because you’re ready for the adventure of fresh sweet smell of young skins as well as the uninteresting wrinkles of aging.

Get married in the realization of love can set you free, and only love can break your heart.


Anne’s Conclusion on Marriage, Love and the crap, I don’t know what I wrote

So days ago I told my mom that I’m gonna be married in my 30s, she’s like, WHAAAT?! And told me the disadvantages of being married after 20s and I was like, pffft…

Well, I always think marriage is a usual thing happens to people. But weirdly, once you become 20, it becomes some kind of pressure by the society and several parents. well, at least in my society and parents. My question is; what is the right reason for someone to get married? Is it for the sake of your parent’s demand, society pressure or your own will to do it? What it takes for someone to be sure that she/he found the one person to live with, bear monsters and die eventually? How those avoid boredom of each other?

Young Queen Victoria thought marriage should be a treat to a girl. My sister once said that being married to someone is not only so you can bear children but also to find a friend for life. I recall my lecturer said love ends when marriage begins. Well, does a successful marriage always begin with love?

I heard so many definitions about it in songs, movies, poems and somehow those make the word ‘love’ sounds overrated. Either it’s too cliché or too miserable, only a few make sense to me. Sometimes I thought love nowadays is just a product you sell on Valentine day. You have to agree that most of bestselling novels, songs, movies etc are related to love. *What? Yes, I like love songs and romantic novels, they help me dramatize my life.* Love produces money. Plus, I often find people said they love this and that then get too excited about it, but months later they just doing the same pattern I easily read.

The love I know, maybe, is a feeling that keeps you coming back. It stays. It grows bigger as the time goes. Like I love my family. You may say that you love your parents the moment you were born but I need a process to love them this much *hug the universe*. A long process that now leaves me at the point that no matter how much I loathe them, I end up want to make them happy.

Ugh. Words often make everything more dangkal. Well, people can have their own definition about love. Whatever.

You know one of the reasons I hate become an adult is there are so many things to think about. Life suddenly is not as easy as choosing what kind of candy I want to eat today.

So my conclusion is, blah, I’ don’t know, I’M TOO YOUNG TO THINK ABOUT THIS. These just several things crossed my mind and thought I should write it. Enjoy the crap. Bye.